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Learning how to gracefully accept our limitations is part of methods
#3, #4, and #9.
Effectiveness, advantages and dangers
The reader is reminded, again, that there are many ways to
change one's self-concept. This method tries to reduce the negative
self-evaluations by focusing on the actual internal words or thoughts
about ourselves. McKay and Fanning (1987) cite no supporting
research for this method in their book, but similar cognitive methods
have been effective. The procedures are reasonable but much research
is needed. As mentioned in chapter 11, there have been a few cases in
which repeating positive statements just prior to smoking a cigarette
has improved self-esteem (Homme & Tosti, 1970).
One advantage of this method, as described here, may be that it
concentrates on the harmful details of our thinking and encourages us
to emphasize the positive. Perhaps we aren't as bad as we think we
are; maybe we have overlooked ways of improving; maybe we neglect
a lot of our good points; maybe the destructive part of the critic isn't
needed. Yet, the focus is a disadvantage of this method too. Most
people are not accustomed to reviewing their thoughts for errors (see
method #8). When we are in a down mood, the excessive self-
criticism seems absolutely true. A new and different approach to your
most intimate thoughts and feelings is required. It is hard to question
what we have always believed to be the truth; it is hard to think of an
important trait, one that defines your basic self, as changeable. But,
that is exactly what has to happen when low esteem is changed to
high esteem. Swann (1996) discusses some "self-traps" that make
gaining self-esteem difficult.
Building self-esteem is considered by many psychologists and
educators to be so vital to good mental health, education, and physical
health that research interest in this area should stay high. However, in
an excellent review of self-esteem research by Kohn (1994) there is
little hard data showing that self-esteem is related to helping others,
academic achievement, or good citizenship. Kohn says the current
self-esteem building programs in school aren't working. He thinks this
is because high achievement, for example, produces self-esteem, not
the other way around. Unfortunately, this interpretation of the data
may lend some support to the misguided conservative position
opposing to all affective education (conservatives distrust change). I
think the "basics" should not just be the "three R's" but also self-
understanding and self-control, relationship skills, and practical career
skills; these skills would surely increase our self-esteem.
Another new theory challenges the practicality of merely increasing
positive thoughts about one's self. Mark Leary, a psychologist at Wake
Forest, believes that humans, being very social animals, have great
sensitivity to how we are getting along with others (see Psychology
Today, Nov., 1995). Just as any movement in our environment
attracts our attention, an angry face in a crowd stands out. When we
