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In chapter two, the second and third steps in self-help are
designed to clarify the problem: observe how serious it is and try to
understand the problem by analyzing it into five parts--behavior,
emotions, skills, cognitive, and unconscious factors. Understanding the
problem helps us find a solution.
Some writers have suggested that you list the forces pushing you
in the desired direction and the forces restraining you from reaching
your goals.
Example:
Goal
Helpful forces
Harmful forces
Making a 3.75
GPA
Future career plans
Wanting to be in a fraternity
Parents'
encouragement
Alcohol & drug use every
night
Girlfriend's studying
Procrastination
Interesting instructors
Lack of organization & drive
Good intellectual
ability
Not wanting to test ability
It is clear that the problem of making a 3.75 or better can not be
understood without considering many variables. Most problems are
equally complex. The solutions will surely involve trying to strengthen
the helpful forces and weaken the harmful forces. So, there are many,
many decisions to be made in solving any problem, many of these
decisions are hidden or avoided.
STEP TWO: If you know what the problem is, now decide what
you want in the future. What do you value? Set major goals in
terms of specific behaviors.
Suppose you are trying to decide on a career. Obviously, your
major purpose in life is critical here. Do you want to make lots of
money and have lots of things? Is that more important than having a
gratifying job in which you help people with problems? Is status and
self-satisfaction more important than money to you? Are you willing or
even eager to work 60-70 hours a week instead of socializing? Is
money, status, and things more important to you than having a good
time with friends and your family? Different jobs offer different payoffs
and demand different things from us; the best career for us depends
on what we want to get and what we want to give, which depends on
our values, our abilities, and our motivation.
If you have decided on a philosophy of life (chapter 3), most other
decisions are made much easier. What does and/or should take
priority in your life? Socializing, work, romance, sex, family, money,
health, children, being alone and comfortable, status, looks, education,
