1309
it is important to ask each individual to express his/her opinion on a
specific issue in a private way, e.g. by written comments, because
groups can inhibit even the most secure among us. In any case, group
decision-making is slow but it is usually much better than one-person,
private decision-making, if the group follows the rules of good
decision-making.
Obviously, many of these emotional barriers to decision-making
are hidden, especially from the person him/herself, and difficult to
handle, e.g. denial of feelings, depression, or dependency. In some
cases, where you know there are blind spots, the decision may need to
be postponed until the barrier is reduced. If the decisions can't wait
and if you are aware of serious psychological barriers interfering with
the decisions, you should get professional help.
STEP FIVE: Consider carefully each of the alternatives. What are
the pros and cons of each choice? How does each choice fit
with your priorities? How do you feel about each choice?
There are two aspects to consider: (1) the facts about each choice
and (2) how you feel about the future implied by each choice. There
are always logical, rational arguments for and against each choice. You
must seek out facts (technical data and personal experiences) from
many sources, including experts, others who have similar problems,
insightful persons, and others. You should consider your assets and
resources (and limitations and disadvantages) that could be used to
overcome the problem and the opposing forces. Also, you must decide
if a certain course of action is in keeping with or in conflict with your
values, e.g. how would you feel making good money selling a shoddy
product? Is sex early in a relationship against your morals? It is
important to write down all the pros and cons, putting together all the
available factual information as well as your clear, predictable
emotional reactions to each alternative. Let's discuss this a little more.
Your decision can't be based just on facts, you must also consider
your subjective, intuitive or vague feelings-oriented reactions. Do this
by ruminating about each choice. Daydream about the likely outcomes
for each alternative--how does each possible future feel to you? Some
will feel "right" and others "wrong." Some exciting and some scary.
Ask yourself: What is the best that could happen if I make this choice?
What is the worst that could happen? Are there ways to improve the
"wrong" alternatives or to overcome the fears? For example, many
people considering medicine or psychology say, "I couldn't stand to
see people bleed or die" or "I would get too emotionally involved in the
patient's problems," and decide against a profession that might be an
excellent choice for them. What if you could find ways of handling the
disadvantages of a certain choice? Guard against making impulsive
decisions. Give yourself time to thoroughly imagine what each choice
would be like--how satisfying, how boring, how irritating, how
comfortable, how ashamed or proud you would be, and so on. Use
your intuition. No matter how logical a choice may seem to be, you
may not be able to live with it. Millions of people have said to
