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To discover how another person is feeling about you. Then you
have the choice to change or remain the same.
To compare how you are seen by others with how you view
yourself. For example, I may feel I am being helpful, but you
may see me as being controlling. You may think we are having
a stimulating discussion, while I think you are lecturing me. We
may both feel we are being friendly but both think the other is
being seductive.
To consider whether or not you are being your real self or
attempting to please others (or live up to some ideal).
To change one's self-concept by getting feedback from others.
The basic purpose is to "share where we are coming from" but
there are many ways to use the information that is exchanged.
Thus, this method is merely an extension of self-disclosure
(method #6). However, it is a very extensive and highly
structured method, not just giving feedback about the here and
now interaction.
STEP ONE: Consider the following list and decide on topics to
explore.
Together with the other person make up a list of traits or actions
or topics about which the two of you want to share views. Laing used
these traits:
1.
Understands
14. Takes
responsibility
for
27. Lets me
down
2.
Dominates
15. Finds fault
with
28. Expects too
much
3. Involved
in
16. Accepts
29. Worries
about
4. Depends
on
17. Pities
30. Blames
5. Disagrees
with
18. Doubts
31. Deceives
6. Takes
seriously
19. Spoils
32. Lost hope
for
7. Can't
stand
20. Owes
everything to
33. Likes
8. Takes
care of
21. Kind to
34. Forgives
9. Afraid of
22.
Misunderstands
35. Puts on a
pedestal
10.
Torments
23. Makes
conflicting
demands
36. Bewilders
11. Loves
24. Gets on
37. Creates
