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didn't get any sleep," "I forgot," etc. Sometimes, we just lie and make
up an excuse, "I was sick," "I'm shy," "I have test anxiety," "I've had
bad experiences," etc. Likewise, people exaggerate their contributions
to any desirable activity; they tend to see themselves as being more
important or more responsible than others. And, we believe that the
majority of others agree with our opinions, even when that is clearly
not the case. These misconceptions--self-cons really--help us feel
better about ourselves by overlooking important facts.
We consistently misperceive how others feel about us. For
instance, most people think most others see them like they see
themselves. That isn't true (Kenny & DePaulo, 1993). Other people's
reactions to and feelings about us vary greatly; we are not liked
equally by everybody, just as we don't like everyone equally. But we
think most people see us in about the same way. We are largely
unaware of the discrepancy between how we think another person
views us and reality (and many other people hope to keep it that
way).
Many people also tend to find psychological causes for events and
ignore other causes: "My head is hurting, I must be up tight," "I forgot
to call him, I must not want to do it." Other people find mystical
causes: "Hypnotic regression to past lives and the experiences of
people who have died and come back to life prove that there is a life
after death." Most of us find "good" socially acceptable causes for what
we do, called rationalizations (see chapter 5). But, if we do harm
someone, we may illogically attempt to deny our responsibility by
denying any intention to harm, "I didn't mean to hurt you," or by
blaming the victim, "He was a scum." These are all biases.
The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by
altering their attitudes of mind.
-William James, 1890
c. Self-deception --when some thought or awareness makes us
uncomfortable, we have a variety of ways to avoid it (Horowitz, 1983):
Avoid logical conclusions--"I have never taken my studies
seriously, but I'm going to really hit it next semester." "He'll
stop drinking if we have a baby."
Avoid appropriate feelings--"I don't think much about the
millions who test positive for AIDS virus or the 50 million
children who die from preventable diseases every year."
Avoid working on solutions--"I can't do anything about world
hunger...nuclear pollution...poor teachers..."
