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Books for improving sex
There are many good books for learning about sex. For an
excellent, up-to-date, informative general text about sex and love,
look up Masters, Johnson, and Kolodny (1994). Although somewhat
dated, mental health professionals consider Barbach's (1975, 1980,
1982, 1992) books to be the best guides to female sexuality
(Santrock, Minett & Campbell, 1994). The therapists also judged
Zilbergeld's (1978, 1992) books to be the best guides to male
sexuality, especially the more recent publication is solid, sensitive,
comprehensive, and thoughtful. For an explicit "gourmet guide to
lovemaking" it would be hard to beat Comfort's books (1972, 1983,
1991) but expect the pictures to be mildly pornographic.
Other books focus on improving sex. Among the best are Stoppard
(1992); Belliveau and Richter (1970), Gray (1995), Heiman, LoPiccolo
& LoPiccolo (1976, 1987), Kaplan (1975, 1979, 1987), Kelly (1979),
Leiblum and Rosen (1989), McCarthy (1977), McCarthy & McCarthy
(1993), Morgenstern (1982), Nowinski (1988), Pearsall (1987),
Penney (1981), Pietropinto and Simenauer (1990). Dr. Ruth's books
are not recommended by mental health professionals; they view her
as unnecessarily provocative or earthy and rather superficial or
disorganized.
Videotapes are being sold for improving your sex life (call 1-800-
367-7765). See the next section for specific information about sexual
problems, such as reduced sexual desires, impotence, lack of orgasm,
etc.
Dealing with Specific Sexual Problems
There is a tendency to think "I'm the only one who has this sexual
problem or thought." In a society were youth and beauty are
worshiped, one may also think "young people are great in bed; old
people have sexual problems (or no sex at all)." In reality, about 30%
of all males and 40% of all females sometimes lack sexual desire, 37%
of college students have trouble occasionally getting an erection or
getting lubricated, 30% or more of sexually active college women
don't orgasm regularly, 23% of college men ejaculate too soon, and
20% or more of both sexes have doubts about their sexual adequacy
(Koch, 1982; Rubenstein, 1983). So our sexually liberated society
hasn't freed us from sexual worries, it may multiply them. But, there's
hope, 75% of the elderly, who are still sexually active, say lovemaking
gets better with the years (Starr & Weiner, 1982).
It is no wonder we have sexual problems. Sexual activities by
children and young people, even private masturbation, is described
negatively and forbidden -- even considered a serious sin. It is
