91
as possible and give it a try for several weeks (don’t expect much for 4
to 6 weeks). Several research studies show that anti-depressive meds
may help prevent adult suicide (more doubtful with teenagers). Don't
put off taking drugs because you want to do it on your own or you just
don't like the idea of drugs or because you don't want to tell the doctor
you are quite depressed. As I mentioned, be frank with your doctor.
The usual self-help approaches to suicide involve dwelling on and
making a list of all the reasons for living--the people who care about
you and the pain suicide will cause them (many people you know will
probably think they are at fault if you kill yourself). List the things you
could do with your life, talents you have, things you could enjoy and
would miss, etc. As described in chapter 2, make a list of self-
improvements you would like to make. Get started on a couple. Do
some self-analysis: Realize you are of two minds; part of you
doesn't want to die--strengthen that part. If you are self-critical or
self-defeating, realize that you have an optimistic, capable side that
can lead to positive outcomes in life. If you are self-absorbed, thinking
mostly of yourself, broaden your world--seek friends and learn the
skills and look for ways to help others. Seek the reasons for your
sadness—use this entire book to plan self-help projects. Most
important, get active--DO SOMETHING! Be social! Get started
changing your situation and your outlook (find your purpose in chapter
3). Defeat the lethargy. Maybe drastic changes are needed. One
therapist observed, "It's not keeping people from killing themselves,
its helping them find reasons to live.” That’s self-help.
Two books are of special value because they have been written for
people in the midst of suicide. Both serve well as a treatment manual
for the therapists of such patients but the books are also self-help
oriented, which in my opinion is the optimal approach. Ellis and
Newman (1996) almost a decade ago wrote a highly rated self-help
book, Choosing to Live: How to Defeat Suicide through Cognitive
Therapy. It focuses on both the hopeless, depressed person and on the
high conflict, emotional, impulsive person, helping each understand
his/her feelings and thinking. This book also provides understanding
and comfort to family and relatives (Norcross, 2003). More recently
Spirito and Overholser (2002) addressed how to assess the future
risks and the profiles of adolescents who have attempted suicide. They
also present case reviews and detailed techniques, including self-help,
for helping previously suicidal patients.
Helping a friend
If you are concerned about a friend’s suicidal thoughts, remember:
(1) Be with them as long as they need to talk. Show you care and are
trying to understand their situation. (2) When appropriate, ask about
suicidal thoughts. If they talk or even hint about suicide, talk openly
and matter-of-factly about suicide. (3) Don’t immediately urge them to
think differently about the situation, just let them know you want to
know “how they are feeling and looking at things.” Don’t panic or avoid
the subject, take them very seriously. Accept their feelings. Be non-
