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purpose in life and made them stronger. Successful survivors
eventually get back their basic beliefs somewhat like their original
ones, only not as positive and confident. They are generally positive
but admit that bad things can and do happen. Some develop a better
appreciation of life--they see that life's pain and sadness in the valleys
accentuate the glorious joy at the mountain tops. Others remain
negative, pessimistic, and bitter, ruminating over and over about how
terrible things have been and will be.
Supplementing the comforting beliefs are excuses, those little
cognitive dynamics used by most of us to help us feel better about
ourselves (Snyder, 1983, 1999). But some individuals handle their
view of reality and their negative self-concepts very differently. Some
depressed or self-critical people actually think in ways that increase
their "blame" for mistakes, perhaps exaggerating the stupidity of their
actions, while attributing their successes to others. Presumably, in this
case, increasing blame validates and supports the person's negative
beliefs about themselves and, thus, is paradoxically satisfying. A
negative person, expecting to screw up, may also take some strange
satisfaction in his/her manipulation of reality when an OK behavior is
perceived as a foolish mistake and support for his/her negative self-
appraisal. A very different kind of person may get a pay off from
distorting reality in such as way to enhance one's belief in self-esteem
and self-control or to increase hope. These internal mental processes
are mostly automatic or unconscious, not intentional coping.
Personality-oriented theorists/researchers describe these kinds of
internal manipulations of the perception of reality designed to
strengthen or alter positive or negative self-concepts. The process is
called "Reality Negotiation."
Another view of the world that I favor is determinism. This is, as
much as possible, an accurate objective view of causes, not a
distortion of reality. A determinist gives up trying to assign blame or
credit... and gives up looking for great mystical purposes or meaning
in the trauma. There probably isn't a special reason or a message from
God behind every occurrence (see Kushner, 1981). The causes of
many events are so complex and remote (far away) that the event
couldn't have been anticipated or prevented. Many things happen
without anyone being able to figure out exactly why they happened
(examples given above: the self-criticism of some 3 or 4-year-olds or
the permanent fear/panic reactions following the inability to breathe).
In determinism one simply assumes that everything could be seen as
the natural unfolding of the laws of nature or behavior, if we were
smart enough to know the causes and effects of all events leading to
the trauma. Frequently, such a deterministic view radically alters our
conception of why something, especially something terrible, has
happened. It encourages us to realistically assess the actual causes of
an event and the background sources of those causes. Thinking of all
things as being lawful, including how to change and cope, may also
help us find solutions to our problems and/or ways to accept what has
happened. It was lawful, no matter how awful it felt.
