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you, seek another professional's advice or just try another therapist.
Select your therapist carefully, just like you would a heart surgeon.
How do you know therapy is going well? Hard question. First,
sometimes it is obvious from the start that the chemistry just isn't
good. Try someone else. Sometimes, it takes a while to know how well
things are going to click. Good working relationships are a function of
both personalities, the skills, warmth, and techniques of the therapist,
the degree these two people just plain need and like each other, the
amount of trust and openness the patient can develop in this situation,
and so on. If the relationship lacks trust and warmth or if the patient
has little faith in being helped after 3 or 4 hours, it would be wise to
discuss these things bluntly so that improvements can be made or the
patient referred to another therapist. If problems do not arise until
after 6 to 8 sessions or more, a concerted effort should be made to
resolve the barriers--too much has been invested at that point to just
walk away without trying to fix it. Like marriage, this relationship
occasionally needs to be fixed. Oh, by the way, therapy sometimes
gets to the point where it just continues on and on without many
changes occurring. They may have become comfortable or dependent
on each other; the patient may simply believe she/he "should" be in
therapy. When progress stops...when all the benefits have been
gained...therapy should stop.
Time is a good healer
It is not uncommon for interest in changing to wane after a few
weeks. You may discover that the change you wanted doesn't seem
important any longer, that the benefits are not worth the trouble, or
that the new you isn't exactly what you expected. So, certain self-help
projects may just fade away. This is fine so long as you can honestly
assure yourself that you aren't running away from an important,
upsetting problem.
Sometimes it is best to simply leave the problem alone for awhile,
if the problem is tolerable. Most problems improve with time. Indeed,
some problems seem to get stronger as you struggle in vain to get rid
of them; then, without attention, the problem may gradually
disappear. Consider putting the persistent but mild problem completely
aside for six months, then re-think the problem and what to do about
it. In the meantime, work on other improvements.
Step 9:
Try to Insure that the Desired Behavior Continues
This is a small step, but it requires some conscious effort to insure
that the newly gained behavior is occasionally rewarded, preferably in
