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Part 5: Unconscious processes (Chapter 4, 9, 15)
Talk with Mom and Dad to see why he worked so hard and why
I
resented it. Share with them how I felt left out or rejected.
Find out how they felt about my anger and rebellion.
Increase my understanding of my procrastination and cynicism
by doing an autobiography and/or by keeping a journal.
When I resent a teacher and a tough assignment, I will tell
myself that this feeling is a harmful leftover from my
competition as a child with my father. It is silly for it to spread
to teachers.
Realize that I may have a tendency to self-destruct by
manipulating and lying. Send up a mental warning flare to
myself whenever I feel the urge to con someone.
Become more aware of the unconscious feelings and needs
inside me. Read about the unconscious self-destructive or
rebellious factors in others.
Get in touch with the child within; realize the destructive,
you're-not-OK, put-down games that child has been playing
and find out how to stop game-playing. Take care of my inner
child.
OK, OK, if you are screaming, "NO REBELLIOUS PROCRASTINATOR
IS GOING TO DO ALL THIS WORK!" You are right. But you are missing
the point. This is simply illustrating how a procrastinator might
consider using many self-help methods. In reality, a procrastinator will
probably think of a few of these useful steps he/she could take
(especially if he/she reads this list and about procrastination as well as
motivation in chapter 4). Then, if he/she is ready to change, he/she
will decide to try a couple of the methods.
Deciding on your treatment plan: Make it practical and doable!
In keeping with all the research about good decision-making, I
have emphasized over and over that there are a large number of
possible sub-problems within each part of the overall problem--and,
therefore, a large number of possible self-help approaches to each
part, depending on your unique situation. IT IS TO YOUR ADVANTAGE
TO KNOW MANY SELF-HELP METHODS. BUT, KEEP YOUR PLANS
SIMPLE! USE ONLY A FEW SELF-HELP METHODS. This seems
contradictory, but it isn't. To make a good decision, you need to
consider many options. But, your actual self-improvement plan must
be doable.
In most of your problem situations, there will not be clear-cut
problems in every one of the five parts. In most instances, only two or
three parts of the problem will need to be changed. Concentrate on
what seems to be the crucial parts of your problem. For example,
suppose that you were John/Jane. You would certainly have to first
self-confront and decide you were heading the wrong direction if you
really want to be successful and respected. Then maybe (a)
establishing a To-Be-Done List and (b) a daily schedule with (c)
