3
concept, values, and expectations), and (5) the unconscious forces
that may contribute to your troubles. An old adage says, "a problem
well stated is half solved." When a problem is carefully analyzed into
these 5 parts, you can more easily see how most treatment or self-
help methods available today could be applied to this problem (see
step 5).
This same 5-part system of analysis is also used in chapters 3 to
10 to help you understand how specific problems may have developed,
are maintained, and could be changed. Then, chapters 11 to 15
describe in a simple cookbook manner how you can apply many
different self-help procedures to each of the five parts of your
problem. Chapter 11 deals with the behavioral part or level 1, chapter
12 with the emotions--part 2, chapter 13 with skills--part 3, chapter
14 with thoughts--part 4, and chapter 15 with unconscious factors--
part 5.
Please note: As mentioned in chapter 1, you may use this book like
a standard text, reading every word chapter by chapter, but when you
are actually trying to self-improve, use it like a reference book,
searching out the information you need at the moment by skimming
the chapters' titles and sub-titles. Every chapter starts with a detailed
index. This look-for-what-you-need-to-know process is not simple, not
if you study the causes and possible methods for "treating" each of the
five parts of every problem. Learning self-control is not easy, if it
were, humans would have mastered it 35,000 years ago. Don't let the
complexity of your problems or of this book scare you, though; plunge
in.
Another caution: making important changes in our lives is not a
smooth, linear process; there are poor plans, methods that don't work,
times when we lose motivation and forget our projects, relapses, etc.
Most self-help projects require several tries, perhaps 80% to 95% of
us have at least one setback as we undertake a self-improvement
project, especially if we are not well read and informed, but the
successful self-helper doesn't give up. He/she goes back to earlier
steps or stages and reads more, asking why am I not more motivated,
what methods will work better, is there another unseen problem
involved, do I need to give more attention to maintaining my gains,
etc.? It is far better to try and fail (this time) than never to have tried
to change at all (guaranteeing permanent failure). When you have
trouble changing, there are a lot of helpful people, books, videos,
professionals, and groups that would be glad to help. I try to point you
towards several sources of help.
Summary of Steps in Self-help
Once you have decided to make some specific self-improvement,
there are ten desirable steps in a difficult self-help project; however,
not every step must be compulsively carried out every time you try to
change something about yourself. Sometimes, you can omit measuring
your progress or analyzing the problem into parts or setting goals or
