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responsibility time-wise, money-wise, and emotionally, not just until
the child is out of college, but forever. The woman--your child's
mother--is responsible for your child forever, so why shouldn't you be?
She and the child need you for more than four hours every other
weekend. I urge every unmarried person, male and female, to read
break-ups and fatherlessness affects the children of divorce seriously
for decades. Think deeply about the consequences to you, your
partner, and the possible child before "going all the way." This is no
time to be entirely emotional and impulsive.
Men aren’t the sexual experts
Second, similarly but even more importantly, young girls must
never think that young boys and men are the "sexual experts" who will
"know what they are doing" and take precautions against pregnancy.
Every female must become an expert in birth control and sex, equal to
any man, and far superior to any man in terms of knowing her body,
her preferences, her morals, her sexual plan-for-life, etc. Every female
must constantly realize that she is responsible and in charge of her
body at all times. Every female must be familiar with the ignorant,
irresponsible, selfish, inconsiderate kind of male who often objects to
using a condom. Even an anxious, excited 13-year-old girl with a crush
on a hunk of a guy must be strong enough to say in advance, "I must
be protected or we aren't doing it" or better "we must both be
responsible and use some protection (from pregnancy and disease). I
will use a diaphragm with spermicide and you must use a condom!"
She must know what she is doing; she must know that petroleum jelly
(not KY jelly) deteriorates rubber (not latex) in 60 seconds, that her
placement of her diaphragm must be checked by a doctor, and much
more. She must practice handling this I-demand-protection scene over
and over in her mind (or with friends) long before getting sexual with
any guy. Our lives don't work out well if we don't plan and prepare.
Are you mature enough to have sex?
Every human being, male and female, who isn't ready right now
for marriage and children, must learn to say, "I must stop the baby
before I start the sex." If the male's hands have gotten to the
woman's breasts or on her panties before birth control is on hand,
they are both sexually irresponsible, inconsiderate of their partner,
and a menace to each other's well being. We must learn to control
ourselves. People uncomfortable with sex are not good at birth control.
So, learn about and practice birth control methods until you are
comfortable.
Ask yourself: "Am I mature enough to have sex?" If you are
too shy to buy a condom and some spermicide, too poor to get a
diaphragm or cervical cap, too embarrassed to get on the pill or have
an IUD inserted, too uninformed to know about DEPO-PROVERA or
when pregnancy can occur, or too irresponsible to do anything to avoid
pregnancy, you should never (or let anyone) get close to a breast, let
