8
Nolen-Hoeksema believes the over-thinking tendencies can be
countered by 1. being mindful of the onset of the process, then
immediately switch to another activity, perhaps take a walk, call a
friend, read a book, plan a nice weekend, etc. Somehow stop the
mental buildup of emotions. 2. If you are mentally absorbed with a
problem, DO SOMETHING that might clarify the situation, lessen the
stress, or point a way out, don’t just think about being upset. For
instance, if you are dwelling on the impact of weight on your looks,
health, and love life, reduce the thinking and increase the serious
long-term problem-solving, such as plan and buy the food for healthy
meals, firmly commit yourself to daily exercises (no excuses!), get
your doctor’s advice, read references that may help you understand
the emotional needs to over-eat.
When a woman gets married, she often has more roles to manage
than a man: work, partner, mother, social relations, friend, budget
balancer, etc. She may identify with her mother rather than her
father; her mother was more likely to be dominated, anxious, and
depressed. Therefore, she is more likely to be passive-dependent,
pessimistic, doubtful of her ability to manage her own life well, and
depressed. Since we are a more mobile society, women may also have
more sadness when leaving relatives, friends, etc. The spouse of a
depressed person is more likely to become angry and blaming. Finally,
women must give birth, which is supposed to be a glorious experience
but is scary and painful, plus 50% have PMS, 50%-80% have
postpartum depression, and 30% have surgical menopause, according
to Ellen McGrath of the APA Women and Depression Task Force. A
victim of discrimination, such as getting less attention in school and
less pay for the same work, is likely to be mad and/or sad (McGrath,
Keita, Strickland, and Russo, 1990).
The Signs of Depression
Depression is a loss of an important life goal without anyone to
blame. Such a loss affects our behavior, our moods or subjective
feelings, our skills, our attitudes or motivations, and our physical
functioning and health. Several writers (Levitt & Lubin, 1975; Beck,
1973; Lewinsohn, 1975) have summarized the signs of more severe
depression:
Behavioral excesses --complaints about money, job, housing,
noise, poor memory, confusion, loneliness, lack of care and
love... acting out (adolescents), running away from home,
rebellious, aggressive... obsessed with guilt and concern about
doing wrong, about being irresponsible, about the welfare of
others, and about "I can't make up my mind anymore"...
crying... suicidal threats or attempts.
Behavioral deficits --socially withdrawn, doesn't talk,
indecisive, can't work regularly, difficulty communicating,
slower speech and gait... loss of appetite, weight change, stays
in bed... less sexual activity, poor personal grooming, and
doing less for fun.
