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child too. You can't point the finger of blame at just one person; it's
more complex than that.
If you could learn to understand the development of any of the just
mentioned factors or if you became more aware of how these feelings
show themselves in subtle ways, you might be in a better position to
reduce their impact on your life. Example: suppose you grew up
feeling that you were slighted by your parents and concluded it was
because you did not deserve to be dealt with fairly and as a worthy
person. If you understood the origin and irrationality of this low self-
concept, you might stop your self-put-downs, start seeing your
strengths, and begin to tactfully demand your rights with others, i.e.
stop responding with self-put downs like you did as a 10-year-old.
Here are some "insight" methods:
Read some insight-oriented psychological writings about
depression, then self-explore and try to figure out your own
dynamics. Assume the responsibility for getting insight into your life.
Check your ideas out in a support group. You may have a thoughtful
friend, if you are very lucky, with whom you can discuss the causes of
your depression, but often you are on your own to "analyze" your
psyche. I have already cited references in the specific areas of
depression. General insight books include: Bass and Davis (1988),
Miller (1983), Schaef (1989), and Forward (1989).
Warning: Some writers (especially Bass & Davis, 1988) declare that repressed childhood
traumas, such as sexual abuse, are the probable cause of specific adult problems. It is
true that abuse can be repressed (forgotten). And, since remembered abuse is sometimes
(not always!) associated with adult problems, it is quite possible that repressed abuse
could cause long-term problems. But no therapist or book can or should state that you
probably have been abused just because you have certain symptoms (assuming you have
no memories or other evidence of abuse). On the other hand, false memories of abuse
are sometimes developed. When this happens, false accusations of childhood abuse can
cause great distress to others (and might the victim's depression worse). This is discussed
in greater length in chapter 15.
Unconsciously motivated interactions. Read in chapter 9
about "games people play" according to Transactional Analysis.
These are unconsciously motivated interactions with others in which
we may goof up and/or get put-down, thus confirming our childhood
beliefs that we are inferior and undeserving. Once we know that we
are designing our own failures (and for "sick" reasons stemming from
early childhood), we can use our Adult intelligence to stop these self-
defeating games.
