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Activity
Effect or Outcome
Immediate
Delayed
Watch soaps
on TV
+Distracting. Fun.
+I can tell others
about show.
-May upset me.
-Shows won't be remembered
-I wasted valuable time.
Take a hard
class
+Interesting.
+Meet people.
+Get ideas for current
job.
+Career advancement.
+Adds hours toward a degree.
-Stressful.
-Takes time & money.
-May be unemployed so class
wouldn't help.
The objectives are (a) to encourage realistic, long-range planning,
(b) to see the lasting consequences--or the wastefulness--of certain
daily activities, and (c) to make some important but uncomfortable
activities more tolerable today because they pay off tomorrow. This is
important for all of us to do, but it is even more important and difficult
for a pessimistic person with low self-esteem to do.
One small step at a time
Earlier we learned that global thinking (or end goal wishing), e.g.
"I need to get better grades," overlooks the necessary details of how
to get there. Also, unrealistic, perfectionistic expectations, e.g. "I'll get
all A's," may lead to disappointment and self-criticism. Thus, it is
important to learn to have a plan, to set realistic goals and sub-goals,
and to have some success experiences. It is important to be satisfied
with small gains. So, decide on some practical, possible, important
self-help project--dieting, increased socializing, more detailed and
prompt record keeping at work, learning to play tennis, spending more
time alone with spouse, or whatever. Then, for each project goal, set
several clear, explicit, attainable sub-goals (small steps), perhaps
things you could do every day or every few hours (see goal setting in
chapter 2). Schedule the time, give it priority, and be sure you are
successful. Record your progress in a diary, along with the positive
outcomes.
Self-evaluation
When discouraged, we feel at fault when things go wrong and "just
lucky" when things go well. Rehm has an exercise to help you realize
your contribution to success and reduce your responsibility for failure:
Think of an important recent event and describe it.
