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pairing pictures of children with electric shock and by using covert
sensitization (Rachman & Teasdale, 1970; Barlow, 1974). Is there any
self-help available? No well evaluated methods that I know about. Yet,
there are some possibilities:
(1) Work to avoid temptations. We all know the situations we get
into, the way we act, and the feelings we have when we attempt to
contact and attract someone. Moreover, we know the conditions that
trigger our seductive behavior, the lines we use, and the thoughts and
intentions we have. As discussed in chapter 10 about avoiding affairs,
we can identify the initial steps taken towards unwanted temptations.
Perhaps discussing the urges with our significant other and/or getting
marital counseling would improve the primary relationship and/or
improve one's self-control. Joining a self-help group is important.
(2) Self-punish or de-condition the sexual urges. Covert
sensitization was mentioned above and you might reduce your urges
by pairing the experiencing of the sexual urge or an image of the
typical sexual target with very noxious thoughts (having very shaming
self-critical thoughts or fantasies of getting caught and divorced or
arrested or severely punished). The Methods #18 and #19 in chapter
11 provide some guidelines for this self-punishment procedure.
Essentially, this is the opposite of desensitization which reduces your
fear of a situation, i.e. you want to increase your fear and avoidance of
a situation. By pairing the unwanted-but-tempting behavior (or
imagined behavior) with an unpleasant or self-critical thought or with
pain, the tendency to think about or to approach a tempting stimulus
should decline.
(3) Modify one's attitudes towards the opposite sex. See the
section on Turn ons for Men and Women in chapter 10 (or just look up
Centerfold Syndrome in this book's search engine). Many of the sexual
addictions involve a dehumanization of the target person or group. The
addict sees the attractive woman as a physical object made up of
sexual parts, referred to as the Centerfold Syndrome. But, in spite of
fashions, our sex-laden culture, and the entertainment industry, men
can learn to control their disrespectful lustful responses simply by
recognizing them as demeaning and offensive. If you can't restrain
yourself from "making a pass" at every attractive person in your
environment, you need therapeutic help.
Sexual problems, such as lack of interest or orgasms, premature
ejaculations, impotence, etc., are covered in chapter 10.
Sleep problems
Sleep disorders include many different kinds of problems, maybe
as many as 80, such as insomnia which includes being unable to go to
sleep, waking up frequently, and waking up too early. Sleep problems
also include sleeping too much, daytime sleepiness, bad dreams, fears
of or resistance to going to sleep, snoring, restless legs, sleep apnea
(disruption of breathing during sleep) and other difficulties. It is
