Psychological Self-Help

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guide to domestic violence; Bancroft, L. (2003). Why does he do that?
Inside the minds of angry and controlling men; Kubany, E. S., McCaig, M. A.
& Laconsay, J. R. (2004). Healing the trauma of domestic violence: A CBT
Workbook for women (with PTSD); Dugan, M. & Hock, R. R., (2000). It is
my life now: Starting over after an abusive relationship or domestic
violence; Roberts, A. R. & B. S. Roberts (2005). Ending intimate abuse:
Practical guidance and survival strategies (describes levels of abuse, lists dv
hotlines, gives rape prevention guidelines); Logan, T. K., Walker, R., Jordan,
C. E. & Leukefeld, C. G. (2005). Women and victimization: Contributing
factors, interventions, and implications. (comprehensive review of the
psychological literature); Schewe, P. A. (2002). Preventing violence in
relationships: Intervention across the life span. (school, dating, sexual,
domestic, & elderly violence…and recognizes twice as much violence is
perpetrated by friends, relatives and partners as by strangers!); Broder, M. S.
(2002). Can your relationship be saved? How to know whether to stay
or go; Fisher, E. A. & Sharp, S. W. (2004). The art of managing everyday
conflict: Understanding emotions and power struggles.
Note: Reviews of these books can usually be obtained at Amazon.com or from
the publisher.
Clearly abuse comes in several forms. Emotional abuse is important to
understand because it is usually the starting point—see Berg-Cross (2005)
above as well as two older but well written books that address
verbal/psychological abuse (Evans, 1996; Elgin, 1995). There have been
books specifically for violent men (Sonkin & Durphy, 1992; Paymar, 1993),
but, abusers often resist therapy, so how many would read and faithfully
apply the ideas from a book? There are new books for male abusers and a
few for female abusers. There are also books for partners of adult survivors of
childhood sexual abuse (Davis, 1991); more will be cited later in the chapter.
The Family Research Laboratory at the University of New Hampshire publishes
a large bibliography covering all forms of family violence. Get informed. It will
help you get out of this situation. 
Books aren't the only source of help. There are many Web sites. For
(http://www.nsvrc.org) (1-800-877-739-3895), Violence Against Women
(http://www.vaw.umn.edu/library/), Office on Violence Against Women
(http://www.usdoj.gov/ovw/) , Blain Nelson's Abuse Pages
(http://www.blainn.com/abuse/)  (he is a former abuser), and Feminist
Majority Foundation (http://www.feminist.org/other/dv/dvhome.html).
Moreover, there are many sites that focus on a more specific problem or on a
special population. One Web site, for instance, counsels young girls and
women who might be experiencing When Love Hurts
(http://www.dvirc.org.au/whenlove/). It describes how unhealthy abuse
subtly infiltrates a "love" situation. Since the abuse victim is unable to defend
herself or escape, it is crucial that the community provide help and protection.
The Nashville Tennessee Police Department has a model program for
Domestic Abuse (http://www.tcadsv.org/). In addition, there are hotlines [1-
800-799-SAFE or 1-800-FYI-CALL or 303-839-1852] and specialized groups,
like Domestic Violence (415-681-4850) and Batterers Anonymous [909-355-
1100]. Many online support groups exist; see several at Abuse-Free Mail
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