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Psychological Self-Help

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Contents

Chapter 10: Dating, Love, Marriage and Sex

Meeting, Dating, and Selecting a Lover

The Nature of Attraction and Love

Do we use our heart, our genitals, or our brains in mate selection? We idolize romantic love.

Romantic and companionate love (Exchange Theory)

Love and infatuation; Love and dependency

Beliefs and myths about love

Kinds of lovers

Types of love; dimensions of love

Do men and women love differently?

How is self-love related to love? Do you have to love yourself first?

The effects of separation and other environmental changes

Is it true love?

Can Marital Success Be Predicted and Improved?

Unconscious needs and motives in mate selection

What is your love story?

Projection of traits and feelings

Are marriages better if you first “live together”?

Get pre-marital counseling

Books give advice about selecting a partner

Marriage and Love

Myths about marriage

Some facts about marriage

Stages within a marriage

Types of marriages

Books about love relationships before and after marriage

Is happiness getting as much as you put into a relationship?

Marriage and children: Life is changing for dad

Handling Marital Problems

Marital adjustment: What are the common problems?

Destructive communication in marriage

Coping with communication differences and hostile attributions (views of the partner)

Learning to communicate differently requires awareness and practice

Resolving marital conflicts

Power struggles in marriage

Understanding and handling jealousy

Avoiding facing marital problems

Loveless marriages: Lasting doesn’t mean loving

Unfaithfulness

Lessons from lasting marriages

Maintaining intimacy throughout marriage (self-help exercises)

Additional Sources of Help with Marital Problems

The importance of problem-solving: The warning signs

Self-help exercises: Learning to meet each other’s intimacy needs

Self-help books for improving a marriage

Marriage enrichment groups: Marriage encounter, marriage skills courses, and support groups

Couples or marital therapy

Coping with Divorce

Reasons for divorce; divorce rate

The pain of divorce

Ideas and books for coping with divorce

The negative effects of divorce (abandonment, hostility and over-burdening) on children

Bitter parents (married or not) are very destructive

Helpful books for children of divorce

Remarriage and Step-Parenting

Sex and Cultural Taboos

Acceptance of our sexual selves and feelings

Masturbation

Turn-ons for men and women

Acceptance of our bodies, sex play, fantasy, etc.

Choosing Your Sexual Lifestyle

Avoiding being forced or pressured by anyone

A young woman’s lonely decision in a supposedly intimate situation

What are people’s reasons for having sex?

Deciding what sex means to you: What feeling does intercourse symbolize for you?

About Premarital Sex

Premarital sex in our time

Guard against unwanted pregnancy

Guard against sexually transmitted diseases

U.S. youth make more sexual mistakes

Be responsible: Don’t do it or use contraceptives…abortion

Both parties are responsible for avoiding pregnancy

Men aren’t the sexual experts

Are you mature enough to have sex?

We are uninformed about sex

The morning-after pill and abortion

Guard against date rape—several websites

Sex in a Committed Relationship

Sexual intercourse: It is making love

Books for improving sex

Dealing with Specific Sexual Problems

Lack of sexual interest and solutions

Male problems—premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction

Female problems—difficulty having orgasms and/or little interest

Difficulty communicating about sex

About Homosexuality

Sources of Information about Various Sexual Problems

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